All The Single Old Ladies

Welp, I’ve made it into my fifties without getting married. It wasn’t planned or something I was consciously striving to achieve—it just never happened. And you know what? I’m thriving!

The Dating Dilemma

In my twenties and thirties, I dated a lot—some good, some bad, and some downright cringe-worthy. I thought I was supposed to find “the one,” but after a few long-term relationships that fizzled out, I started to embrace the idea of being solo. I threw myself into my career, traveled to places I’d only dreamed of, and cultivated friendships that filled my life with joy. The ups and downs started to reconfigure that section of my brain that was convinced I was meant to be part of a twosome.

A few years ago, I stopped scrolling dating apps when I realized I was dreading connections rather than getting excited when notification bubbles appeared. Any time things got serious (and by serious, I mean seeing someone more than once a week), I’d want out. I’d rather be on my comfy couch with my separation anxiety-riddled dogs, reading a book, watching a movie, or doing a jigsaw puzzle. (Side note: Stay tuned for an upcoming post about my jigsaw puzzle obsession!)

Now I can add “blogging” to the list of things I’d rather be doing than dating.

Reclaiming the Narrative

When the term “cat lady” hit the political spotlight with such a negative slant, it felt like time to take ownership of my “Old Maidness” and share the benefits of my experience with the growing number of women out there who have either chosen to remain single or just never found “The One.” I’m here to say, it’s okay. It’s better than okay—it’s pretty darn sweet. (See aforementioned couch, book, dog, and puzzle time.)

Even in 2024, there’s still this underlying assumption that if you’re single at 50+, something must be “wrong” with you. I’ve lost count of the well-meaning friends and family members who’ve  reassured me that “it’s not too late!” And they’re not wrong, it could still happen, but I’m not waiting for anything. I’m living.

A few benefits to staying single off the top of my head:

• Making spontaneous decisions without consulting anyone
• Decorating my space exactly how I want without compromise
• Spending my money on what matters to me (cheap wine and expensive cheese)
• Taking solo trips based on my own likes and interests
• Eating popcorn for dinner, on the couch, with the dogs, and a shameful rom-com

There are lots of other upsides I look forward to exploring with this blog and uncovering other viewpoints, for and against, the acceptance of staying single.

A Gap in the Conversation

While doing initial research for this venture, I realized there’s a real dearth of content out there for women over 50 that isn’t parenting-related. It’s as if the media thinks we disappear into a void once we hit the big 5-0 without a ring on our finger. My goal is to fill that gap with a go-to site for insights, information, and fun stuff for like-minded women. Sure, happily married folks can scroll too, but they’re not allowed to be offended.

This space will be dedicated to:

• Celebrating the joys of independent living
• Sharing adventures (both solo and with friends)
• Tips and tricks to making the most of your Old Maid era
• Discussing the unique challenges and triumphs of being single at 50+
• Creating a community of women who understand that being unmarried doesn’t mean being unfulfilled

Reality Check

Being single doesn’t mean being lonely. My life is full of rich relationships with friends, family, and Trader Joe’s cashiers. I have the mental space and energy to nurture these connections precisely because I’m not focused on maintaining a romantic relationship. Sure, it’s selfish, but that’s not illegal.

I’ll admit it’s not all Netflix marathons and peaceful solitude. There are challenges:

• Being the perpetual third wheel
• Lack of man muscles (why are jar lids so tight?)
• Facing certain social stigmas
• Living on a single income
• Planning retirement and end-of-life decisions solo
• Making a really good single-serve lasagna

But you know what? These challenges have made me more resourceful, resilient, and self-assured. I’ve learned to kill spiders, work with a financial advisor, and make the giant lasagna anyway.

Why it Matters

The number of single women over 50 is growing, yet our stories often go untold. We’re not sitting around waiting for a text—we’re out there pursuing our passions and creating meaningful connections that don’t necessarily involve romantic partnerships.

Thank you for being here, and welcome to all of my new friends! Whether you’re single by choice, divorce, circumstance, or a bit of each, you’ve found your tribe.