The Great Uncoloring: The Ups and Downs of Letting My Hair Go Grey

I remember the exact place I was when I discovered my first silver hair. It was coarser than the rest of my hair so it stood up proudly from the crown of my head, as if to give me one of those perky royalty waves. 

I was in my early thirties and on a business trip in South Africa. Work was stressful and the weeks leading up to this trip consisted of a lot of long days and contentious meetings. By the time we finally arrived in Capetown, I was jet-lagged and exhausted. While I was at the hotel mirror inspecting the depth of the dark circles beneath my eyes, it was the sun reflecting off the metallic hue of that one hair rising up from the dark roots on my head that stole my attention.

I admit, it hurt, even before I plucked it.

My Blonde Ambitions

I was always a blonde, what they called a Towheaded kid. After college was the first time I experimented with coloring my hair when I went platinum blonde and got a short bob. It was drastic, but I loved it—these were Gwen Stefani’s heydays after all.

As the platinum grew out I continued to color it in varying shades of blonde for the next twenty-some years. Sometimes I’d have it done in a salon, but mostly I became very adept at coloring with a box. 

When I hit fifty I was in the midst of some major life changes. I had moved back to the states after spending a grueling two years abroad. I had taken some time off to decompress and figure out what I wanted to do and where I wanted to live. By the time I turned fifty-two I’d decided to prioritize lifestyle over paycheck and was building a decent freelance business, but it required living a little more frugally.

Hair color was something I was willing to give up. I had never enjoyed going to the salon like some women do, and the prices were going up with every visit. The boxed dyes were taking a toll on my hair and my roots were getting darker, greyer, and harder to keep up with.

Ultimately, it was the many gorgeously-grey women posting about their hair transitions on Tik Tok that gave me the courage to take the leap, but it was and still is scary treading into unknown territory.

It’s been seven months since I’ve colored my hair and my roots are about five inches long. It’s still hard to tell what my grey is going to look like because, next to the blonde that is growing out, it appears very dark and not at all like the glistening silver heads that lured me in.

Considering Going Grey?

Be prepared: My best advice is to have a realistic understanding of the transition stage and how long it will take (likely up to three years for longer hair). You can attempt to ease this period by first dying your hair closer to the underlying shade before letting it grow in. 

Mind the mental toll: I know going grey will age me and that there are lots of emotions tied up in that—there are many days when I look in the mirror and question everything. Friends are my go-to as well as revisiting some of those social media communities for reaffirmation.

It’s just hair: I console myself by knowing that I can always go back to being blonde—or red or brunette or green for that matter—anytime I want. 

Stay Tuned

For now, I’m committed to going grey and mostly just curious what my real hair looks like after half a lifetime of altering it. I’m excited that my hair will be healthier and I won’t have to deal with those stinky chemicals seeping into my bloodstream. 

In large part, just like the first time I made the decision to go platinum, I’m doing this because change is fun!

My mother is aghast that she’ll have a grey-haired daughter while she remains miraculously blonde, but it’s something we’ll both have to get used to.

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